INSPIRE: Raising Boys with the Lost Boys Task Force and Football Beyond Borders

As a father of two boys, I have started to educate myself on what it really means to support them to flourish. What should I be doing so they grow into happy, healthy and caring young men? How do I help them become people who look out for others, who contribute positively to society, and who feel able to navigate the inevitable challenges around identity, confidence and mental health?

These questions feel deeply personal to me, but they also feel increasingly societal.

Having worked for Movember and known young men who have struggled profoundly with their mental health — including some who sadly took their own lives — I am acutely aware of the scale of the challenge. In the UK, suicide remains the leading cause of death for men under 50, with around three-quarters of suicides being male.

Alongside this sits another concern: a growing sense that many young men are struggling to understand their place in society. In that uncertainty, some are drawn towards extreme online figures and communities that validate their fears but channel them into misogyny, anger and division. The rise of the “manosphere” and personalities such as Andrew Tate should concern all of us — not simply because of the views being promoted, but because of what they reveal about the unmet emotional and developmental needs of many boys and young men.

Recently, I read Raising Boys and found one section particularly fascinating. Steve Biddulph talks about the stages of development boys go through and highlights how, during adolescence especially, boys often need positive male role models beyond their immediate family. Not replacements for parents, but additional guides: coaches, teachers, mentors, youth workers, family friends and community leaders who help boys navigate identity, belonging, discipline and emotional resilience.

Reading it, I suddenly realised I had experienced exactly this growing up — but never consciously understood it at the time.

Sport played a huge role in my childhood. Through school teams and local clubs, I was surrounded by an entire collective of thoughtful, supportive, kind, funny and occasionally strict adults. Coaches who encouraged me. Teachers who challenged me. Volunteers who gave up evenings and weekends simply because they cared. They created environments built on teamwork, accountability, respect and belonging.

At the time, I just thought I was playing sport.

Looking back, I can now see those people helped shape me profoundly. They taught discipline without humiliation. Encouragement without ego. Competition alongside compassion. And importantly, they were there if you needed them.

That is why I have found the work of the The Lost Boys Task Force so compelling and important.

I first heard about the initiative through The Rest Is Politics, and I admire Alastair Campbell greatly for the role he has played in helping normalise conversations around mental health, particularly for men. The Lost Boys Task Force is bringing attention to an issue many people can sense but often struggle to articulate: too many boys are drifting without connection, purpose, guidance or support.

What I particularly value about the conversation emerging from the Task Force is that it avoids simplistic culture-war narratives. It is not about diminishing the challenges girls and women face. It is about recognising that boys and young men also need support, structure, positive role models and opportunities to belong.

And this is where organisations like Football Beyond Borders are doing truly inspiring work.

I have followed their work for a long time and have consistently been impressed by both their approach and their impact. Their programmes use football not simply as a sport, but as a bridge into education, emotional wellbeing, mentoring and trusted adult relationships. Their advocacy around the “Trusted Adult Guarantee” — ensuring every young person has a consistent adult they can turn to — feels both profoundly simple and deeply important.

Because when you strip so much of this back, that is often what changes lives.

One trusted adult. One coach. One mentor. One teacher who notices. One person who believes in a young person before they fully believe in themselves.

Sport will not solve every societal challenge facing boys and young men. But community, belonging and positive role models absolutely matter. I know they mattered for me.

I would like my boys to grow up emotionally intelligent, kind and resilient. I want them to understand strength not as dominance, but as empathy, accountability and courage. And I want them to experience the same sense of encouragement, guidance and belonging that I was fortunate enough to have through sport and community.

Equally, if they do not like sport, I can see just as clearly the value of finding that same sense of belonging elsewhere — through art, acting, music, dance, knitting, cooking, baking, horticulture, sewing, fashion, religion or whatever sparks their interest and identity. (As long as they of course support Man United, Bury and England) What matters is not the activity itself, but being part of something positive, supportive and purposeful, surrounded by role models who encourage, challenge and guide them.

That is why the work of Football Beyond Borders and the Lost Boys Task Force feels so important right now.

Not because boys need saving.

But because they need finding, supporting, guiding and believing in.